In 7 years, I’ll be 60. I hope (and expect) that the 60 year
old version of me is wiser, more at peace with herself and the world. I hope
she is looking back on me as I am today- the 53 year old me looking for the
next step in my life and thinking “that’s the moment when everything changed”.
I can just imagine and hope the future me will be pleased
with the choices I’m making today. I
hope a conversation with the future me sounds something along the lines of:
“Ahhh, at 53 I was at a crossroads- Unexpectedly fired from
my job. I had grown to resent the company for the
hurtful-insensitive-self-serving things I had witnessed from the CEOs and upper
management. The company was completely at odds with my personal philosophy of
putting people ahead of dollars. But the pay was more than I had ever made in
my life. Steve and I were comfortable. But I was
miserable-depressed-sick-crawling through each day. Being released from that
job was a huge blessing but also a huge financial sacrifice, I didn’t know what
to do. There were jobs all over the area but was that the answer? Just get another
job and jump right back into the system that was killing me? The last thing I wanted
was repeating the pattern of trading hours of my life for dollars- especially
when a large part of those dollars went into the pocket of people who DID NOT
share our respect for life. I was fearful yes, I was so thankful and I worked
hard at staying in the moment- to enjoy being at home every day- walking the
dogs, writing, cooking, crafting-the things that made me blissful. Every day I prayed & meditated & began learning-seeing the Universe at work- everywhere I looked. I had not been this happy maybe in all my
life.
I kept myself in tune with my higher power and kept
listening for direction. It was always the same “Trust me. I’ve got you” the very
same words as a corporate recruiter I had told people many times when they came
to me looking for help. “I’m here to help, I’ve got you.”
Finally I was able to relax and trust the Universe honestly
did have me and was trustworthy. I mean what choices do you have really if you
don’t have confidence in yourself? When you lose belief in YOURSELF then you’re
at odds with the Universe who as we know- is ALWAYS ON OUR SIDE and ALWAYS
BELIEVES IN US! That’s a battle that today’s world (we) can never win.
I started to relax into the new role of full time
wife-writer-mom-grandma-pet owner- and craft maker extraordinaire! I began to let
go of things I thought I had to have-admittedly sometimes these things had to
be delicately removed from my grasp by the Universe (namely our home).
But the thought kept echoing through my mind – ‘freedoms’
just another word for nothing left to lose’. I had been asking the creator for a chance to
travel and see the world, to sleep under the stars in the back of our camper
van as we travel the country giving back to the earth and planting trees and
good vibes – and hope- along the way.
This was the dream we had been nurturing every day for years.
We downsized and then downsized again, yes it was a process!
The Universe in her all knowing wisdom- understood that letting go of the
things we think of as our security- is separation anxiety of the fiercest kind!
So, like the loving mother she is, she eased us into it. We took it one day at
a time- to do otherwise would have driven us (me especially) to madness of the
unknown future. I was freer than I had ever been in my life. Every option of
the Universe was open to me and once I let go of the fear/guilt of failing and
falling and the opinions and judgment of others, once I just enjoyed the
freedom of living and began to undo the 50+years of brainwashing that had been
the voices in my head – “work harder-work faster-earn more” I finally began to un-hear
those things!
Steve and I tiptoed along- literally- not being brave enough
to take a giant leap on my own; the Universe had to give me a couple of
nudges. I finally got my wings the day
that I felt the fear leave me. The day that I put on music and danced in the
house- alone except for the dogs and cat- and I wept for joy at the beauty of
that moment. If getting fired was the only way for me to experience that singular
blissful moment or any other one ahead- then it was worth it. It had been a very
VERY long time since I had wept for the JOY of being alive and it felt amazing!
Fast forward- here we are seven years later. Steve and I became Nomads-
traveling - letting the beauty of this world heal our souls and renew our
sparkle for life. We now have a successful life coaching business, are
published authors and an in-demand motivational speakers. We have traveled to
every state in the country and have been on numerous international adventures. How did we get here you ask? It was simple
really- you see a person can’t walk around in that kind of natural euphoria and
sublime happiness, without other people noticing. When joy and peace radiate from your life-
people will be drawn to you like a moth to the flame. It wasn’t that we were
trying to draw attention to ourselves- we both knew it wasn’t anything we had
intentionally done- it was the Love of the Universe that others saw in us and
they were drawn to it like magnets. They wanted to know how they could find the
kind of happiness that would lead them to dance and cry with sheer joy for no
reason or maybe it was for every reason. As others began to listen and to follow,
our joy- our bliss became even fuller. The words of the Universe renewed our
passion and healed us. We wanted to share the message of hope to everyone we
met. Investing ourselves into others would become the fuel that would drive
that passion and our camper van. Wanting-needing-yearning- to tell others of
the things we’ve learned was like a fire in our bones. It was something that
drove us even when we didn’t know why or where or how we were going to end up,
The Universe was guiding us and we believed it would lead us to the right place
at the right time. We went on with complete faith in the plan. We were so
certain and the message was so clear and strong that we gambled the entire rest
of our lives on it. The truth of the matter was a person can live without trusting the Universe if you want. You can struggle
along in your own self made battles, with just enough verve and moxie to live half
of a life, or you can risk everything for a chance at the ultimate life. We
knew that a half-life was no life at all and it was either freedom or bust for
us. We laid it all on the line- trusting
in the love and care and guidance of the Universe to get us to our proper
destination(s). And boy, are we glad we did. Life changed forever that day and
every day since has been an adventure and a blessing. More than we dreamed and
it all started with a hunger for
more. Oh I know- hunger isn’t a pleasant feeling- nobody likes to feel hungry. So
we stuff ourselves with shit to keep from feeling that discomfort. We snack,
graze, pig-out and pork-up on things to stop the hunger not realizing that
hunger is what propels us to find nourishment that satisfies. Did you get that?
Hunger isn’t a bad thing, listen to what your spirit is hungry for- that’s
where you will find your bliss.”
Ah, my thoughts
return back to today, this moment, I am not a young person anymore. I’m older
than I’ve ever been and I have fewer tomorrows than yesterdays. I hear the
message of the 60 year old future me pleading “Don’t settle Linda…don’t settle
Steve. Hang onto those dreams, the Universe has placed them inside of you for a
reason. Have faith that you are exactly
where you need to be. Be brave and happy-go ahead and dance- the Universe sees
your bliss and is sending you a lifetime supply. It’s impossible to teach somebody how to be
happy and harmonious when you hate your life- I need you, the Universe needs
you, people need you to show them how to dance”.
Namaste’ future me. I’ll see you in a few years.
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